Power is Control
by 1m4g1n3 dr4g0ns
Summary: Raven has spent all of her life being told that her feelings were volatile, and she witnessed this firsthand when she took two lives in spite of her rage. But her time with Titans has shown her that emotions can be more than death time bombs. That maybe, control wasn't always the answer.


**I'm going to cry omg its one a.m. and i have no ideas whatsoever**

**ugh**

**ugh**

**uggggghhhhhh**

* * *

Control was something Raven had learned about since her early childhood. She was told her powers were dangerous and she could harm people she got close to if she ever lost control. She was taught to never show her exterior feelings, to lock her emotions up because emotions blind people into making irrational decisions. Emotions cause betrayal and sadness and jealousy, even more emotions which stimulate rash, unforgivable actions. Actions that you would _always _pay for.

The first day Raven cried, she tore apart the entire living area. The pillars crumbled, the walls flew this way and that like a leaf in the wind, the monks she had been with her whole life were in fear of losing their own lives, because she had a slip.

Raven wishes she could forget the feeling.

She remembers being told that Arella was hospitalized in the heart of Azarath, far from where Raven was. She recalls the way her heart stopped in her chest, how time around her creaked and came to a halt, nothing but the pump of her blood and the icy words. Maybe it was when she heard **his**name in the rushed explanation, or heard the words "attacked" and "barely alive" from the two chefs across the living quarters, maybe that was when she snapped.

And she would _never_ forget.

It was exhilarating, the wind slicing through her like she wasn't there, her heart thrumming and pounding in her ears, muting her from the cries and screams of the others as they scrambled away from the extent of her anger. She could feel every tear as it slid down her face, she could feel the ground it landed on, the second it dropped and soaked into it. She could feel the fear and hopelessness wafting off the others and she could almost taste the impelling doom in the air. Raven, even as a child, felt the cages swing open, one by one, and the different cloaked Ravens soaring out and relishing in the moment. She had never felt so _alive._

But she knew anger comes with a cost. The living space they used was in shreds, a pathetic excuse for a building left in its remains. They had lost 2 low monks in training, and while they were buried into the ground, the empath, young at the time, was chained to a wall for a month as a test of self restraint.

She didn't pass.

* * *

After coming to Earth and beginning her life with the Teen Titans, she didn't experience anger. She couldn't.

For she had failed, miserably. Almost as if all those years of studious training and control had been scrambled and thrown out.

She loved them.

She loved and feared for the safety of every person she dare call family.

She enjoyed her time with Cyborg in the garage and telling him about her forbidden past.

She looked out for Beast Boy while he made mistake after mistake after mistake.

She guided Starfire who was so new with emotions that the empath could only feel off of others, and showed the alien girl how to handle these alien feelings.

She watched after Robin, as he nearly throttled himself with anger, while he chased after the mastermind of games himself, and showed her time and time again why she didn't -no, _couldn't_- feel these things.

Raven hated her emotions for being dangerous. She hated them for being the only barrier between her and the rest of her family. She hated that she had to lock them up to keep them from swarming in masses of mishap and evil. She hated that she could feel them, _every day_, pounding and scratching against her ribcage, wailing and crying to be released. She absolutely hated the fact that her teammates forgot that small fact.

But her emotionlessness had shown her so much.

If anything, the empath had learned about emotions of others. Love was fickle and full of wrong turns. Anger was fog, blinding you and making the obvious seem unclear. Jealousy was two parts Anger, one part Love. Knowledge was powerful and overcame all, clearing the path. Ignorance was loss, it was doom and ill-fated. Fear was illegible, everyone spoke their own language.

And she learned about control.

Cyborg strived for it.

Starfire didn't need it.

Beast Boy was tired of it.

And Robin… It came and went.

She learned that sometimes it was better to let your emotions take over. That sometimes, just sometimes, bottling up everything would end up with more than what she could handle.

At least, for a second time.

ahhh omg what was that

read and review plza


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